Frivolous Purchase of the Week: Outdated Celebrity Statues from The Hollywood Wax Museum
Today, I read that The Hollywood Wax Museum is auctioning off more than 200 wax figures, props and original costumes. I'll be headed over that way tonight when I go see State of Play (despite, not because of, Russell Crowe), and it's going to take every fiber of self-control that I can muster (which is less than you will find in a bowl of Shredded Wheat) not to run over and purchase a lifesize, waxy statue of The Fonz. And Laverne. And Shirley.
Once there, I don't think I would have the will to walk away from Hee Haw's Minnie Pearl (who, without her famous straw hat, looks more like Don Knotts in drag).
As I scrolled through the list of auction items, I couldn't help but think of my friends and family, and how much all of them needed these wax figures in their homes too.
If money were no object, I would purchase the following:
Sonny Crockett, for my mother (she always liked how Don Johnson tongued his cigarettes on Miami Vice):
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, for Buddy:
Dolly Parton, for Patti (Doesn't Dolly look like Candy Spelling here, and isn't it disturbing to see royalty going barefoot?)
Zombie Michael Jackson from the "Thriller" video for Stacie:
Mr. T for my brother, Frank (when he was a kid, he wanted to be Mr. T)
Jodie Foster in Maverick for Nancylee and Paige (because they need more Western-themed shit at their house)
Also available on the auction block are statues of Ann Margaret (looking more like Laura Linney after falling into a bottle of Nice 'N Easy Medium Mousey Brown), a whole slew of U.S. presidents, athletes, and a bunch of religious crap.
There's also a really butch-looking version of Princess Diana. I would get that one for my wife, though I don't think I'd leave her alone with it.